Past-Present-Future

Yesterday, Cleyo and I picked out and put on layaway, one of those three-diamond rings, that represent the past, present and future. Buying a new ring was not even thought of in our plans to renew our vowels. Even though my original ring is very plain and simple, it is a reminder of the covenant I made on December 30, 1995, and being a very sentimental person, I had no desire to replace it. But this new ring will be a reminder of the new covenant we are making, that we understand how marriage glorifies God, and to commit our ways/our marriage to the Lord.

Cleyo shared with me that a few years ago that he was considering buying this kind of ring for me, to replace the one I have now. But I am so glad that he did not. On January 1, 2010, Cleyo will put this ring on my finger, and it will be a reminder of all the amazing things that God has done in our lives, and in our marriage. And it will be a reminder of our outward confession to live out a God-honoring marriage.

BTW~ Cleyo will not be getting a new ring, because of his work, it will just get destroyed. But I did find out that I can have his polished, to look like new, and I can have in engraved for very cheap.

We are very excited about the renewal of our vowels, and to share it with our friends and family. We are thinking and working hard to make this an enjoyable evening for all.

The discipline of loving our husbands......

Marriage Killer #3 ~ Vain Imaginations .

Oh how I would like to come across one of these and have not failed, but I have a feeling that as each post comes, I will see my ugly self.
To be very honest, Cleyo was not the man of my dreams, he was not even my "type".
(btw~Not news to him).
But God, being great in wisdom, choose Cleyo for me. Praise God.
I would like to say at this point that I could have chosen better, but knowing myself very well, NO, I would not have.
But I have been guilty of thinking that I would have been "happier" with someone from my past, or that they would have treated me better. A few years ago, I was allowing my imagination to turn into sinful thoughts and desires of this other person, and strangely enough, I was running into him everywhere, or maybe I was being tested? After a short period of time, I began to look and think deep into the consequences. That is not the wife that I want to be. That is not the mother I want to be. I do want to stand before God one day, knowing that I have remained faithful to my husband. So, I began to pray that God would give me a desire for only my husband, and to take away this temptation from me. Can I just say that God has been SOOO GOOD about answering my prayers. I know that there are so many people that pray for years and years, for temptation to be taken, or that they pray for their husband to have a closer walk with God. I do not know why God has been gracious to listen to my prayers and answer so quickly, but I am so very thankful that He did. Back to my time of confession~ within two weeks, I was able to be around this other person, (and still to this day), without feelings of temptation. And my desire for Cleyo, is, well, let's just say, well, maybe I shouldn't, well I will just say that I have never desired any man like I desire him.
And let me follow up with the fact that as long as I am alive, there will be other men that turn my head, BUT, it does not have to turn into sin. The discipline of loving Cleyo, is not based on how he looks, or if he is living up to my expectations. But, by remembering the grace I've been shown, the forgiveness given to me from a holy, perfect God.

Battle Plan for Protecting My Perspective of My Husband: (from the TW blog)

1. Capture each negative thought (2 Cor. 10:3–5).

2. Fill your mind with gracious thoughts (Eph. 4:31–32; Phil. 2:3; Col. 3:3, 13–14).

3. Meditate on all the good things about your man (Phil. 4:8).

4. Affirm him often (Prov. 15:4; Eph. 4:29).

Helping your man does mean:

• Serious, specific, and continual prayer intercession.
• Honoring his role as head.
• Affirming his leadership decisions.
• Being his "safe place."
• Encouraging—but not pushing—his spiritual growth.
• Communicating with honesty, humility, and gratitude.
• Letting him know you're glad he's your man!

On the True Woman blog, the marriage killer #2, is The Control factor.

I have learned many hard lessons on this subject alone. From a very young age, I have taken care of myself. I am strong-willed and determined.
So, as I entered into my marriage, Cleyo did not have a chance against my "independent nature". I knew how to take care of myself, and I did not need anyone.
I was so independent that I could/would do it all, which now I realize how foolish it was on my part, because now Cleyo knows I am capable, and you know what that means ladies, MORE work for me! Many years of trying to "help" him, has backfired every time!
Within this past year, God has shown His power through prayer. Many, many months ago, I was really growing in God's word, and my desire to know Jesus and who He is, so that I could be more like Him, but, I felt like, "how can I continue to grow, if my husband is not growing with me, or even faster than me?". So, I began verbalising, to Cleyo, in a way that I thought was loving and kind, and which I still think was in a respectful way, that I wanted to see him(Cleyo) reading his bible and growing, so that I can be lead by him. BUT! Cleyo, did not respond well, and I really was surprised by his response. So after, a couple of weeks, I quit telling him how important it was for me, to see him grow in God and God's Word. And I began to pray. I knew that I had No power to convict him, and that my words, were not being received the way I thought they should have been. After a few months of praying, I began to see some changes. Cleyo was getting up and reading the Bible, he was being changed by God. I knew right away that God was faithful to hear my prayers and answer them.
A few months later, I printed a list of specific verses to pray for "husbands". Cleyo did not know that I was praying these verses over him, but, now looking back over the past several months, I can see how God used those verses, to work in Cleyo's heart. God knows our heart, so when we as wives are trying to be their helper, with manipulation or thoughts of controling our husbands, it will always backfire! But, when we take it to the Lord, He is able to work in ways that we can never understand!

Five ingredients that can kill a marriage:

• Unrealistic Expectations
• The Control Factor
• Vain Imaginations
• Condescension
• Harboring Hurt

Kimberly Wagner, on the True Woman blog said.......
~"I didn't grasp the "big picture" when I entered into my marriage covenant."
~"Basically I went into our marriage thinking it was all about me, instead of realizing marriage is all about God."

I feel the same exact way, and I am in a process of learning more about God, and how my marriage can display the glory and beauty of the gospel.
I have had many conversations with women, (and maybe men would say the same thing), that marriage is never what they thought it would be. Also, I have come to an understanding that this unrealistic expectation is common to all, no matter how we were taught or not taught.

I hope that God will use what He has taught me, to help younger women to not waste precious years of marriage. How cool to be a part of displaying the glory of God! And praise God that He has done a work in me! Apart from Him, I can do nothing!

"Not Going!"

Maybe my three old son Daniel understands anger better than I do........

Last week, Daniel refused to go to VBS, unless my 13 year old stayed with him, so 4 out of the 5 days Sheldon had to help in his class. Well there is another VBS this week, and when Daniel found out, he said "I am not going! I will stay home", But was willing to compromise that he would go if Sheldon went with him. Well, he was not happy when I told him that I would not make Sheldon go, because he is getting too old. So, Daniel's next compromise was that he would go if "a big kid stays with him, in his room with his teacher!" Well, another "no" from mom!
Daniel firmly tells us that he will go with us to drop off the kids, but he will not stay. We finally get there, and I allow the older kids to walk him in the door, which he fell for, and did stay, without any attitude.
Later, after we pick up the kids and bring them home, Cleyo and I asked if he liked it, and he said "yes!"
Then he continues to tell us why he was arguing with us before we left the house.........

"I was stinkin mad, and my brain wouldn't listen to you."

Gone Camping...

So, what I thought was going to be a much needed break away from home, with relaxation and hours reading time, was not at all. I should have known better! Especially with not one, but two 3 year olds, that like to cause trouble. But I thankful that we had family keep Asher, he would have not been a happy camper, it was very muddy, so I would have been stressed trying to keep him from being covered in it.
But, it was good to go away. It has a reminder of how much I love home.
I am so thankful for the comforts of home,
like;
my own bed, indoor plumbing that flushes, a floor not made of mud, taking a shower without strangers, waking up to a dry bed that has not been rained on, being able to discipline when kids need it without neighbors watching your every move, being able to see the sunrise and set, waking up to my favorite Book and a cup coffee (indoors), not having to see Priscilla and Elijah crash their bikes every 10 minutes, not hearing my kids ask me constantly "what are we going to do next?", not getting lost, the smell of this fresh air-it is different,
most importantly~
just knowing that this is where my friends, my church and family are!

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