Just in case, well I know that I have not had the chance to tell everyone that we finally have the adoption court date, which is this Monday. We are soooo excited ! Although, they already are a part of this family, and they feel as though they belong to us, it will be great to get this weight off our shoulders, and for the legal part to be finished ! And, all the meetings and appointments that come with it!
I am so thankful for each child that God has blessed me with, and I am thankful that God has blessed me with the gift and ability to care for so much. Not that I am a perfect mom, I fail and fall short daily, and at times I get overwhelmed, but I am thankful for the strength, wisdom, patience, love, endurance, forgiveness, provision, and ALL that comes with being a mom (x8). I pray that God will find me faithful with what He has given me, and that my children will bring Him Glory!
Also, if any of you hear me tell a stranger "yes", when they ask if Daniel and Shiloh are twins, please understand that our motives are not to lie, but to avoid explaining, and making her feel as though she is in any way an outcast. To us, it is not any different that we will tell everyone that all of them, are our children, and that they are brothers and sisters.
Ps; I have so many updates, that I look forward to posting, but I have not been able to upload pictures for a long time, so when I get this problem fixed, I have many things to share with my family and friends! Also, HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my family ! I hope this Holiday season you will take time to turn your heart and thoughts toward the one and only God, who is capable of giving you eternal life, and no matter what you are going through in this world, He can give peace and eternal security.
13 years ago
14 comments:
perhaps when people ask if they are twins you can simply say, "No, they are brother and sister, but they came into our family in different ways." (or something like that)
happy adoption day!
I could, and have, but I do not feel the need to explain the situation everywhere we go, and that answer just leads to more questions. Because their is only one day between them, we get asked everywhere we go. We see Shiloh as a twin by adoption, just as she is a sister by adoption. Before Daniel & Shiloh came, we use to call Elijah and Abby our twins, because at three months old he was the same size as Abby (even though there was 1 year, and 3 days between them), they also looked a
lot alike, there also was a strong sibling bond between them, and they even got the same exact teeth together, at the same exact time. So, technically, they were not twins, but we often called them our twins.
I am also trying to be compassionate towards Shiloh, because I know how it feels to live with a family, and not be accepted as part of the family.I even struggled with having to say to strangers, "no, these are not my kids, they are foster kids". I can only imagine the wall of separation, it could have caused, if any of the kids who have been placed with us, would have been old enough to understand.
But, I do appreciate the advice. We have also chosen to tell Shiloh and Asher that they are adopted , as they grow up, so hopefully we can explain in a way that she understands that they are not twins by birth, but by adoption.
God's blessings on your adoption day!
Having been adopted, and then 11 years later having my sister born to our parents, I really love how you're handling the questions.
I NEVER ever heard my folks refer to us as their adopted children.NEVER! I was never their 'adopted' daughter~` I was their daughter. It was always "we have 3 children: 2 daughters and 1 son".
A new family moved into our neighborhood, and someone must have told her we were adopted. One time my mom was holding my little sister, as I stood next to them. The neighbor lady asked something about the adopted ones. I can clearly remember my mom actually hesitating, as if she had to remember we were adopted. She actually started with a stutter. "well, yeah we adopted 2, but these are my daughters and I have a son, also."
We always knew we were adopted,(I was 3 1/2 years old when we came from the orphanage) but somehow my parents made being adopted something wonderful, we were special. BUT, at the same time, it was the most natural, normal thing in the world.
You're doing a great job. I really love your sensitivity to their feelings and how overheard statements could hurt their sense of being part of your family.
Your compassion and love for them is so obvious.
Happy Adoption Day!
Anna~ Thanks for your sweet comments.
I also love to hear the perspective of an adult , who has been adopted.
Sometimes we make choices as a parent, and we are not sure what the outcome will be, so I love to get input from someone who has experienced it. Recently, I spent an hour on the phone with a stranger, who was adopted, she is about 40 years old now, she was able to tell me from experience and she also had many adult friends who were adopted, her information was definitely from the Lord, because she answered many of my questions, and that phone call was about another topic, and I did not even know her or that she was adopted, but we talked for an hour just about being adopted. (and I believe she is a sister in Christ, based on our conversation).
So THANK YOU for sharing! I feel that it is a confirmation that we are on the right path, and not that our path will be smooth, but that we are hopefully going the right direction.
Thank you Anna, we love & miss you and we are so thankful for the work you, Bob and others are doing to serve our Lord!
If I can be of any help to you, let me know.
We could at any time talk to our parents about our adoption and they would answer questions appropriate for our age and maturity. Which to me made it seem natural. Like a child might ask their parents to tell them about the day they were born.
One thing that dawned on me after reading these posts, that I had never really thought about the distinction before.
As I said, I was never refered to as their adopted daughter.
"adopted daughter" ~adopted is an adjective and would define me.
But they would say, "We adopted you"
"I was adopted"~ is an action, something that my parents did to bring me in to their family.
Hopefully, that difference in wording makes sense. To me just that wording is something special that my parents did.
Your post and my being able to write about it today, has just made it fresh in my mind just how special my parents were, and the wisdom and sensitivity they showed. Thanks!
Love how you said that. It is a one time event, which now makes them my son and daughter, just like becoming a child of God, it is a one time event, and now He is my Abba~Father.
Love that analogy!! LOVE YOU!
Hi!
Just a little something to add to Janal's last post. Adoption is an exciting event! What Janal described between our adoption into the family of God is a perfect analogy of how special Shiloh and Asher are to her and Cleyo. They as well, will be just as much my grandbabies. They will bear our last name and all the blessings and legacies that come with being part of the Livingston family! We are chosen into the family of God. Shiloh and Asher have been chosen into the family of Cleyo and Janal. What a wonderful way to share with them, the salvation story! How much more they will relate to the Gospel story of being the elect!
ps. We're kinda excited about the adoption too, even though to Shiloh, I'm already "Namaw"!
Mom
OH!!! Praying for ALL of you today! Any special events planned?
I recall very vividly one day my dad calling me in to my parent's bedroom to talk to me. What he said, I Cherish.
"You are my daughter, and you will always be my daughter. Nobody will ever be able to take you away from me. I am your daddy and I will always be your daddy."
I don't even know what caused him to tell me that, unless maybe it was around the time the adoption became final.
Enjoy your day! Give Shiloh and Asher a big, huge hud for me, ok?
I hope you don't mind my posting so much on this....somehow your post and your obvious love for your children has caused me to reflect on my own childhood and the love my parents had for me!
Anna~ I love to hear from you!
You can post anytime, and as much as you want. We did go to Chuck-E-Cheeses, and we pretty much had the place to ourselves, since it was a school day, on the lunch hour.
As for the court appearance, it was more than I expected, to say the least! I was verbally attacked by the judge, her compliments included that I was a failure as a mother, and I was neglecting my children for having so many. I hope to have a post about it this week, after I have time to process the torment I went thru, and time fill my heart and mind with the truth of God's word! I know in my mind what she said was untrue, but I never expected to be attacked in such a ruthless manner, and she was making statements as if they were true, and they were only based on "what if's".
My heart does break for her, I can not imagine living my life with that much hate in my heart!
Thank you so much for including us today! It really was a blessing. I wanted to share some scripture that came to mind as I thought about you in your joys and your struggles today.
1 Peter 3
13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and i respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.
In light of these verses, the ridicule that you received from the judge today is further proof that you are being a light in the darkness. The darkness hates the light. The world hates Christ. What a blessing for you to share in His suffering in that way. You are shining your light brightly enough that the darkness is feeling the heat!
As I was driving by myself this evening, I found myself earnestly praying for you. I wanted to call you and pray with you, but the roads were icy, and, well... the phone and I may have been a bad combo at that time.
So, next best thing, I will just tell you that I thank God for you and the example that you are for all of us. God has brought you through so much to where you are today. And through your family he has shown us all a picture of how we were born into a hopeless situation (like Shiloh and Asher) and didn't even know how to ask for help or even that we needed help (like Shiloh and Asher.) But HE came to US and pulled us from the darkness into the marvelous light much like you have done for them.
I will continue to pray that God shows you who you are in Christ, and what a wonderful steward you have been of the gifts he has given you. I pray that you will not grow weary in doing good. You are precious to God, you are His child and an heir to His kingdom. And for what it's worth, I think you're pretty special, too!
Love you sister!
Amanda Livingston
Words can not explain what a blessing your comment is. I printed it off, just so I can keep it as a constant reminder.
For now, God's word is where I am finding my peace. I think I slept a total of an hour, and found myself wide awake in bed, and thought my time would be better spent cleaning up my house, which is a total disaster, but @ 2:am in the morning, I have found myself not able to put God's word down.
All I could think about in bed was, what was meant to be a time of Joy, I felt as though I was hanging my head in shame.
The truth is, being a mother to these children is a blessing, and God gives me Joy thru this, and there is nothing on this earth that I would rather be doing!
Congrats on the adoption, I wanted so badly to be there, but wasn't able to. Oh, by the way, this is Jessica. Pay no attention to that judge, I had her for both Katie and Davion's adoption and she is not the nicest lady and is a feminist, that is the reason she gives out that stupid coin you get. Don't let her make you feel bad in any way. When we first decided to become foster parents and adopt, we didn't get the support we were hoping for, instead alot of people questioned us and said we were crazy. We knew deep down that we were doing the right thing and we were in unity on the subject and both felt real strongly about it, that even if we had NO support, we were going to do it anyway. Therefore, do not let the world discourage you. Chuck and I think you guys are awesome parents and good examples to us. I am so happy for you that you got so much support from friends, church members and family. As for Daniel and Shiloh being twins, I think it's awesome. We sometimes explain to people Katie and Davion's stories, but not always. Although it's pretty obvious Davion is adopted. lol But I totally understand the not wanting Shiloh to feel any different that the others. My stepfather adopted me and always introduced my brother and I as "they're not mine, they're her kids!" He doesn't do that anymore, and we love him alot and have grown closer to him since mom passed away. But I totally understand the awkwardness and hurt that comes along with comments like that or even just telling people at times that they are adopted. Ya just don't feel like explaining it to everyone also. Kinda like when people assume I'm pregnant cause of being overweight, I sometimes feel like just agreeing and letting them think I am pregnant to avoid the awkwardness of the whole situation. lol Love you guys
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