Dayton Dragon game

So, I needed to post something, because my last post was so depressing.
I appreciate all the prayers, and I have had better days since.
Every morning, I have to remember to fix my eyes on Christ.
My hope is in Him, not myself!

I hope you enjoy these pictures:

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

The song is "Here comes the sun", which is a reminder to me that,
in my time of trouble, here comes the SON.........and it is going to be ALRIGHT.

Fixing my eyes on Christ

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." ~ Hebrews 12 (1-3)

Without getting too personal, or sharing any details, and if you feel led,
I could really use your prayers. There is a storm brewing in my life. God has been preparing my heart for the past year (little did I know), and He has been faithful to carry me through it.
Have you ever watched someone while they go through a difficult trial, and think~ how are they surviving this, and that you would fall to pieces if it happened to you?
If you ask them, they will say God will give you what you need in that moment. I always doubted that statement, not because I doubted that God is big enough, but because I doubted myself, I didn't think that I could handle it.
Well, I was right! I can not go through this trial, without keeping my eyes on Christ.

In my last post, which was this past Monday, I was feeling strong in my faith, thankful that Jesus is my shelter, and in awe of how close His presence is, and if going through these storms, brings me closer to Him, and causes me to praise Him, then bring it on.
Well, let me just share that the next day I began to fall into a pit of depression, and then on Wednesday, I thought about my post, and how I wanted to take back those words. Wondering, how strong am I? Maybe I can not handle asking for more rain? Then as I was falling deeper and deeper into this depression, I was struggling to praise God.
How did this change so drastically within a day?
Why?
Because I took my eyes off of Christ, and placed them on myself.
Saying to myself;
"I can not do this anymore", "I am not strong enough", "I am not good enough", "How can I....", "Why should I...." , ............... every doubt that I could possibly have of self.

I was losing heart and becoming very weary, and not even able to understand how this happened so quickly.

And then God said, "you took your eyes off of Me".

You see, the more I kept looking to myself at how I was going to manage this storm, the more overwhelmed I became. The more I doubted. The more depressed I became, because I know that I am not capable. I was becoming weaker and weaker by the moment,
I just kept repeating, "Lord, I can not do this!"

And then God said, "apart from Me, you can do nothing!"
(John 15:4-5) "Abide in Me, and I in you.
As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself
unless it abides in the vine,
so neither can you unless you abide in Me.
I am the vine, you are the branches;
he who abides in Me and I in him,
he bears much fruit,
for apart from Me you can do nothing."

I hope that I will apply discipline to what I have learned. At least five mornings out of a week, I start my day in God's word, but now I know that is not enough, I must begin by praying and fixing my eyes on the Lord. God is my refuge and strength!

(Jeremiah 29:11-14a) "For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD,
plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.
Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.
You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
I will be found by you,
declares the LORD".
(Psalm 73:26) "My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
(Psalm 46:1) "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble."



*(this is from a book I just finished reading, "It's All About Him", by Denise Jackson)*
~"But now I'm beginning to learn that the hard chapters show God's power in a way that the happy ones do not. Brokenness moves my story forward in a way that peaceful times do not. It's in difficulties that I become desperate to really know God, to cry out to Him. .......................
When everything is going well, we often can't hear God, because the music all around us is turned up too loud. But when the party stops--in those moments of crashing pain, sorrow, and sudden silence--we begin to hear His voice."

Jesus, bring the rain....

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

[1st Chorus]

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing

(*song by MercyMe)



Oh Jesus, you are my shelter in the storm! I have never felt Your presence, as much as I do now. If that means I have to endure many hard storms, then Jesus bring the rain!
Oh Lord, You are my God, and I will spend the rest of my life praising You,
You are worthy!

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory

Together, We are One

On December 30, 1995,
Cleyo and I made a covenant before God, and two became One (see Gen.2:21-24).
It is God who in each marriage ordains and performs a uniting called One flesh, it is not in man's power to destroy. Staying married is about keeping covenant. "Till death do us part", or "As long as we both shall live" is a sacred covenant promise - the same kind Jesus made with His bride when He died for her (JP). Marriage is a model of Christ and the church (see Ephesians 5:21-33).
Here are some links, that I thought were good~
Staying married is not about staying in love ,
God's showcase of covenant-keeping Grace ,
Forgiving and Forbearing,

Pursuing conformity to Christ in the covenant.

When we got married in 1995, we had NO IDEA what the purpose of marriage was, and we had no knowledge of how sacred God holds marriage. Cleyo and I had dated since we were 16 years old, we had Sheldon when we were 19 years old, and when he was 3 months old, we got married. Let me just say that I had no idea what I was getting myself into, LOL! We loved each other, but it was naive and immature. Our views on marriage were very worldly. Cleyo has recently admitted that in the beginning of our marriage, he had questioned whether or not he wanted to be stuck with me the rest of his life, which explains his song for our marriage, "Happy to be stuck with you", and I went into our marriage with divorce already on my mind, that if it didn't work out, "oh well, everyone else gets divorced." At least Cleyo entered the marriage as forever, it has only been in the past 2-3 years that God has given me a different view of divorce. Honestly, I am not even sure how the wedding date happened. I had a very strong view against marriage growing up. I saw a lot of marriages fail, a lot of men abuse my mother, so WHY ? in the world would I want to get married, if it was just going to fail, and how could I ever trust a man to truly love me and to treat me good. And let me not forget that Cleyo never proposed, so how did I say yes to this? I remember refusing to get married just because I was with child. Sheldon was born in October, then the next thing I remember is that Cleyo was wanting to set a date before the end of the year for "tax" purposes, so on the last Saturday of 1995, we were married. Romantic, huh? Try not to be too jealous girls! Still to this day, I am not sure how it happened, and my only answer is that God is Sovereign!
Our marriage has failed to be what God had intended it to be, with many mistakes and hardships, because we did not start this marriage with the knowledge and purpose of God's design for it.

SOOOOOO, I am overjoyed to announce that on January 1, 2010, the beginning of our fifteenth year of marriage, we are re-committing our marriage vows to the Lord. The purpose of this is an outward confession, with friends and family as witnesses, that we are surrendering our ways, and our marriage to the Lord. I view this as very similar to a baptism, just as a baptism does not give you Salvation, it is an outward confession of your desire to follow Christ. The re-committing of our marriage does not unite us, we entered into this covenant on December 30, 1995.
Two weeks before I turned 18, I prayed and received Christ as my Savior, within a few weeks, I was baptised, because the church that I was at, told me that was what I needed to do, but looking back, I really did not understand what it was that I was doing. About three years later, I got baptised again, because I finally understood that it was about me confessing openly to others my desire to follow Christ, and ask for their accountability. As with the re-committing of our vows, we are wanting to openly confess that we understand God's purpose for our marriage, and we are committing to live out our marriage, in service to one another, forgiveness to one another, and Christ-like love to one another.

Cleyo is not the same man that I married, and I hope that he can say the same about me. God has changed both of us in many ways. God has blessed us in many ways. God has given us wisdom through His word. We will never be the same. Even though there have been hard and painful times, I would choose to marry Cleyo all over again. The deepness of my love for him, is beyond words. There is no doubt, we are One.

One desire...

...of my heart has been to reach out to teenagers. Childhood circumstances and not having a parent to raise me, gave me no choice, other than to raise myself. I made many mistakes, I had to learn the hard way, because it had to be my way, and I was just so naive to the real world. I knew what it took to survive, but I did not know how to do simple things, like buy car insurance. I did not even know how to use a checkbook. I moved out on my own my Junior year of high school (and yes, I finished high school), into my own apartment, I worked a second shift factory job, in which I had to get special permission from the principal to leave school an hour early to get to my job on time (I had study hall my last hour), and cleaned offices on the weekends. I knew that in order to survive, I had to make money to pay the bills, but what I did not realize was their was more to life than paying bills.

For years I have desired to work with youth, especially ones that do not have family support, or maybe have family, but do not have a relationship that is needed. But I did not want to pursue it, I wanted it to be an invitation to me, knowing that it is God that opened the door.
So today, I was very excited and quick to say yes when I was asked to speak/teach this fall, to youth in an "Independent Living" class for teenagers in Foster care. I am not sure what I will be talking about, or what exactly God has planned in all of this, but what I do know is that I am excited about this opportunity.

Required: Less Thinking - More Action !

Till the day I die......
I want to be known for Christ-like love.

Recently I had a conversation with an old friend that use to attend our church years ago. She was sharing with me that she recently made friends with someone that attends are church now, she asked this lady if she knew Janal Livingston, in case you did not know, that is me, LOL!
The lady responded with a laugh, and stated that EVERY-one knows Janal Livingston!
I do not believe that she meant that as a criticism, not sure? For years, the people that work at Wal-mart have known me as the women with ALL those children, and I have been known for speaking my mind, even to strangers.
I have not been able to get this conversation out of my mind!
What do I want to be known for?
When I die, what will people remember?
What will be my legacy?

As I read through God's word, and about the lives of people in the old and new testament, I can not help but to notice the legacy that has been recorded; ......their betrayal to Christ, their great faith, their lack of faith, the complainers, the kings, idol worshipers, their adulterous behaviors, the murderers, a man of God, endurers of persecution, a prostitute, righteous in God's sight, great leadership, horrible leadership.
For their; anger, kindness, success, rebellion, song(s), failures, compassion, deception, death, prayer, loyalty, shame, marriage, sacrifice, evil example, redemption, suffering, friendship, blessings, a disciple, disobedience, sorrows, children, bitterness, courage, love, drunkenness, works of righteousness, grief, trials, destruction, household, sins, preaching, lies, wealth/no wealth, on and on, and on.

I love Kati's saying on her blog~ "If you find any fault in me, that's my flesh~give me grace. If you find any good in me, that's my God~give Him glory!"
I will never be a good example of Christ, but my desire is to share that same kind of love with and for others. I want to leave a legacy of love, but I also want grace for all my imperfections.
The more I fall in love with Jesus, the quicker I am to love and compassion.

I am ashamed to admit that the past several weeks I have been reading peoples comments on Facebook, and I have been very judgemental and giving out one label after another. Several times I had to stop myself from posting a comment, scary! I have come a long way in regards to the control of my tongue, but I still have a long ways to go! It is only by the Grace of God that I am who I am today. God only knows how I would have destroyed myself, if He had left me to my evil desires.

Lord, I pray that You will gaurd my heart and keep me from sinning. Teach me Your ways, that I may find favor in You. Help me to walk in Your ways. Increase my faith. Give me hope. Above all, help me to love-like Christ loved. I pray Lord that whomever I cross paths with, that they will see You, and not me. Give me a legacy of Love.

(Ephesians 5:1-2)
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
(1 Corinthians 13::13)
"But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."
^{(Philippians 3:12)
"}Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus."