Marriage Killer #3 ~ Vain Imaginations .
Oh how I would like to come across one of these and have not failed, but I have a feeling that as each post comes, I will see my ugly self.
To be very honest, Cleyo was not the man of my dreams, he was not even my "type".
(btw~Not news to him).
But God, being great in wisdom, choose Cleyo for me. Praise God.
I would like to say at this point that I could have chosen better, but knowing myself very well, NO, I would not have.
But I have been guilty of thinking that I would have been "happier" with someone from my past, or that they would have treated me better. A few years ago, I was allowing my imagination to turn into sinful thoughts and desires of this other person, and strangely enough, I was running into him everywhere, or maybe I was being tested? After a short period of time, I began to look and think deep into the consequences. That is not the wife that I want to be. That is not the mother I want to be. I do want to stand before God one day, knowing that I have remained faithful to my husband. So, I began to pray that God would give me a desire for only my husband, and to take away this temptation from me. Can I just say that God has been SOOO GOOD about answering my prayers. I know that there are so many people that pray for years and years, for temptation to be taken, or that they pray for their husband to have a closer walk with God. I do not know why God has been gracious to listen to my prayers and answer so quickly, but I am so very thankful that He did. Back to my time of confession~ within two weeks, I was able to be around this other person, (and still to this day), without feelings of temptation. And my desire for Cleyo, is, well, let's just say, well, maybe I shouldn't, well I will just say that I have never desired any man like I desire him.
And let me follow up with the fact that as long as I am alive, there will be other men that turn my head, BUT, it does not have to turn into sin. The discipline of loving Cleyo, is not based on how he looks, or if he is living up to my expectations. But, by remembering the grace I've been shown, the forgiveness given to me from a holy, perfect God.
Battle Plan for Protecting My Perspective of My Husband: (from the TW blog)
1. Capture each negative thought (2 Cor. 10:3–5).
2. Fill your mind with gracious thoughts (Eph. 4:31–32; Phil. 2:3; Col. 3:3, 13–14).
3. Meditate on all the good things about your man (Phil. 4:8).
4. Affirm him often (Prov. 15:4; Eph. 4:29).
13 years ago
6 comments:
Dearest Janal...thank you for your transparency and honesty. Your reminders are always needed that a great marriage does not just happen!
Margaret~ :}
I would not hesitate to say that Cleyo and I have a great marriage, but it has come through many trials and storms.
I praise God for all that He has taught us, for His strength and perseverance.
I think that is one of the lies that most young married people believe, is that great marriages just happen, or if I do this, and this, and this, then I will have a great marriage, but that is so far from the truth.
Loving, sacrificing, and giving forgiveness to Cleyo, has been the most affective display of Christ in my marriage. I am so thankful that God has given me insight early in my marriage, so that I can put it to use for many more years.
I feel like I need to add that it takes two, to make a great marriage. Cleyo and I both have to do the work, of loving each other. We are still very far from perfect, but our love for our Lord, creates a desire for us to do the work.
JanAl~
This is probably one of the best blog posts I ever read!
You are right, a great marriage doesn't just happen, because loving our husbands doesn't just happen! If it did, Paul wouldn't tell the older women to "train" the younger women to love their husbands!
But it is amazing, the depth and dimension of a marriage relationship, when two persons battle their way through and past each trial as it comes! That's what married people are supposed to do! And you do it very well! Praise God!
I was pleasantly surprised to read about your "temptation" ! lol
I myself had that exact same thing happen many years ago!
God just kept putting that person in my path! I was forced to come to terms with my sinful thoughts and ask God to remove them! And He did...as I applied correct thoughts and actions toward the man God had given me as my life partner! Today, I am free of those foolish desires!
How wise you are in saying that another man may turn your head but it doesn't have to turn your thoughts toward sin!
It's utterly ridiculous to think that we as women, won't ever find a man (who is not our husband) physically attractive! We're not blind! But it's only flesh! And all the vain imaginations we can conjure up around the person are ways of messing up what is truly beautiful...
We, just like our spouses will always recognize another person's attractiveness! That's not sin. But we certainly can and must squelch any unsolicited, sinful thoughts... and refocus on the one we made the marriage committment to!
I fail at keeping my end of that covenant so often! But I am still committed to it, therefore still striving to keep it alive and well!
Marriage is such a wonderful thing! But only those who are willing to go through the painful experiences that accompany it, would ever know the "mystery" Paul is referring to, of Christ and His church. It's for keeps!
Also, a side note JanAl.... I so appreciate our conversation last week at the pool! The Lord has used it to unlock and open areas of my mind, to see where I was very caught up in wrong thinking!
You are a very special person! I'm so glad God threw us together! lol
Love, Nan
Nancy~
I am not sure how it is that this is the best post you have read, unless God used it to work in your heart. But thanks for sharing. You had a good point with ~"If it did, Paul wouldn't tell the older women to "train" the younger women to love their husbands!"
And you should not be surprised by my confession of temptation, I am human, and face the same temptations as everyone else :}
Ummm, and I think that train-wreck is a better description, than being thrown together, LOL!
Hi!
Oh yeah...train-wreck! That's much more accurate! lol
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